2.11 modern tales/ Reading time

A fixed fairy tale : «  Little Red Riding Hood »

Everyone has heard the tale of Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH)…

we know how she met the big bad wolf in the woods on her way to Grandma's house ;

we know how the wolf got to Grandma's house first and disguised himself as Grandma…

"What big eyes you have" and "What big teeth you have" …

And blah blah blah, rescued by the woodcutter at the last minute etc, etc.

We've all heard that story!

But here's how Little Red Riding Hood should have ended...

LLRH :~Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go~ (singing)

The wolf : What's that?? (sniffs) Smells like.. a little girl (sniffs). A little girl wearing a hooded cape (sniffs). Hmm, yes. Red dye number 40 but.. (sniffs).There's something else... hmm. (sniffs).A rosewood basket filled with (sniffs)... muffins!

(evil laugh)

Pardon me, unaccompanied little girl…I couldn't help but notice you, by yourself, traveling alone through this dark and scary forest. Alone.

LRRH : Yeah?

The wolf : Where are you headed with that delicious smelling basket of goodies?

Little Red Riding Hood knew how crafty and dangerous wolves can be so she came up with a very clever plan.

LRRH : I'm headed to... my Grandma's house...it's down the path... in that direction (showing the wrong path).

But I can't stay and chat : my poor sick, feeble vulnerable grandmother is waiting for me right down the end of that path. That way. Yep.

The wolf : How delicious of you, I mean, how dedicated of you!

But, might I recommend taking time to gather some wonderfully beautiful flowers for your grandma as you go?

There are MANY flowers just slightly off the path.

LRRH : OH, so you think I should BEAR slightly off the path to gather flowers?

The wolf : Yessss. The delay will definitely be worth it

LRRH : Well thank you. I'll be sure to BEAR that in mind.

The wolf : Please do! I'm sure your grandmother will be VERY surprised. (evil chuckle)

LRRH : Thank you so much for BEARing with me.

As I BEAR this basket onto my grandmothers house and help her BEAR her sickness.

That she can barely BEAR!! (giggling)

The wolf : What's funny?

LRRH : Nothing! Off I go! La La La La…

The wolf : Yesss...

I can cut through the woods and arrive at Grandmother's house first !

At the grandmother’s house :

Grandma (laughing) : Bad directions! That's clever! (chuckling)

But I wonder... whatever became of that wolf??

At the bears’ house :

The wolf : Hello, Granny!!

Wait.... You're not Grandma.

Oh… goodness …What big teeth you have!!

AHHHH!!!!!!

At the grandmother’s house

Grandma : I don't think we'll need to worry about him anymore! (giggle) More muffins?

LRRH : Please!

And Little Red Riding Hood happily enjoyed muffins with her grandmother who got well soon after... all because Red Riding Hood was a smart and practical girl...who knew that wolves were dangerous and can't be trusted.

The moral? Always give wolves bad directions.

Always!