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2°8 Monday March 30th Stephen Clarke...



 Stephen Clarke about 
 Talk to the Snail


I’d been playing around with the idea for Talk to the Snail for a while, and had started giving talks about living in France that I divided up into ‘commandments’. They were rather long commandments, I seem to remember, along the lines of ‘if you go to Paris, don’t assume that just because the drivers refuse to stop at red lights and try to run you over, that they hate you personally’. 

I’d then tell a few traffic-related anecdotes. I had several similar commandments, all of which inspired a bunch of anecdotes, and I found I could keep this up for ages. So I started writing it down, and shortened the commandments to things like ‘thou shalt[1] not love thy neighbour’ and ‘thou shalt not work’. I still couldn’t cram the French into just ten commandments, though. They’re much too complicated for that.
Even though I was forced to do eleven commandments, writing the book was a blast, because I was given complete freedom by the publishers.
I also wrote an index that is genuinely helpful, but also a joke in itself, full of references like ‘Alcohol, see Driving’, ‘Restaurant, see Bacteria’, and ‘Weekends, long, frequency of’.




[1] = you shall (old English)

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